Lesson 4- Nirvana

Inspired by the words of Charles Bukowski the poem 'Nirvana' that Tom Waites used as an inspiration for one of his pieces, we created a physical piece that in cooperated the poem too. The piece surrounded the idea of our Nirvana. Mine was being in a swimming pool on my back under the water watching rain hit the surface. To portray this, 3 people when on all fours, I lied on top of their back and they moved me up and down as if I was in water. The piece was successful and was able to access physical and vocal elements, whilst in cooperating work from Tom Waites. Therefore we have decided to use this concept as part of our promenade piece at the beginning. The concept- finding our Nirvana. With experimental, taking on something so broad and personal as someone's Nirvana, means we can experiment with form and structure when presenting it to our audience. As the audience will be walking through the promenade piece, they will be walking through our Nirvana's which flings open hundreds of door regarding the atmosphere and meaning we can create.

Today we dedicated most of our lesson time to finding the place we want to set up our promenade piece. We decided the garden area in the courtyard would be good to create a paradise scene. As a lot of people's heaven involve the outdoors and nature based features, being able to tap into the natural beauty and materials that are already available to us is an opportunity we would be stupid to pass up. We can create a heavenly garden, that the audience can walk through, picking up elements they want to, in the same way you would pick the prettiest flower.

We have also decided that we want to include Trestle masks in our piece. We think this can represent the front people put on to find their happiness, but the true emotion we feel is hidden behind a mask. We want to experiment with the idea of unmasking and masking people, in the same way you mask and unmask your fears and desires. Experimental is the perfect term to add this extra layer and be able to try out different ways of working with the masks to find how they are most effective for both actor and audience.

Lesson 4

As usual we started with an ensemble circle exercise. It experimented with mirroring another person. Everyone had one person they had to look at and copy. So if one person moved slightly or made a noise it would eventually ripple round the circle. It created a wave of movement and sound that was slightly altered as it moved around different people. It was like a live ball of energy being thrown around from each person that if dropped, sparked back up as soon as someone moved. Eventually we all went into the middle of the circle and used the movements and sounds we used most in the exercise to create a sequence that everyone copied. Transferring this idea of mirroring into the piece will help connect us as a whole cast. Being able to observe someone in detail is a skill that means the energy of a piece lives on constantly due to a constant sense of concentration and observation. In terms of how mirroring looks atheistically, there is something interesting and stimulating seeing everyone doing the same thing and yet they all interpret the offers of material in a new exciting way.

At the end of our lesson we did a rough run through of our piece and the loose structure lends itself to the experimental style of the piece. It is wonderful to be a part of as you never know what is coming and have no choice but to live in the moment.  However people become stressed and don't allow themselves to let go and be supported by the rest of the cast.

Lesson 3

We started today with another ensemble exercise, standing in a circle, we did the synchronised clapping exercise in which we all closed our eyes and had to read the room so as to clap at the same time. After we found each others beat, the tempo increased rapidly until it reached its peak, at which point it would fall back down to the slow tempo it started with. Being able to transfer this energy into our piece will help us read a room and its lows and highs in energy. We will have to read and react to each others energies, creating the highs and lows in the performance, with emotion being the catalyst for those peaks. This will created a layered performance that can range from scenes of calm to scenes of complete chaos.

This week we had to bring in an object, picture or random material to use as stimulus to create a character. Mine was a crown ring. The character I created was Delilah, a queen who had traded all the love in her life and her own ability to love, for power over all the land she wanted and all the subjects she desired. However the lack of love in her love and her inability to love caused her to become cold and bitter. She mistreated her subjects and ruled from a throne of silver and gold skulls, a reminder of the sacrifice she has made for her power. We then went into the middle of the circle and created this character, bringing them to life. I really love doing exercises like this because it activates my imagination in an improvised way. Creating characters is something I really enjoy and they often stimulate some of the characters that take bold, vivid forms.

We then did some more improvised storytelling. Again in a circle we started with one line and then each said a line to continue the story. I feel exercises such as these turn into trust exercises that relies on everyone in the circle to take your contributions and make them into something of value and worth, moulding them, not necessarily in the way you expect, but in a way that adds to the creative process. In terms of creating interesting, inspired stories that fit in a experimental form, this exercise allowed us all to take stimulus and throw it, stretch it, colour it in and mould it in whatever way we saw fit, which saw the storytellers becoming just surprised at the outcome as the audience. Having this sense of improvisation in the piece would be a risk but something I would personally enjoy experimenting with. Performing something with no set rules or form- theatre at its most free. We would put thrill back on stage.

In the afternoon many people had gone to Bethlem so we decided to do another storytelling exercise. One person took centre stage and told a story taking inspiration from a picture. The others stood around and acted out their words physically and created a sound scape on top. I was able to tell a story; inspired by a picture of hot air balloons, I did a story about one in the middle of a cornfield that a little girl went on an adventure in. Being completely spontaneous with the work was exciting for me and the people around me and felt wondrous as a performer. I love storytelling and writing stories so standing on that block was me feeling very at home. Having this sense of sharing between a whole group of people is definitely effective- you need only ask those who were in the class. Involving everyone in something that can only exist once is a sharing experience that everyone can connect with.

Bethlem

Bethlem was a real insight into the subject that we are studying this term- mental health. I expected a dark setting with stories about the mistreatment of mentally ill patients in the past. However I was greeted by a  light, bright setting filled with colour and art that highlights both the positives and negatives of mental health. There were certain parts of the gallery that touched me and inspired me to take forward into our performance:

This was a paint palette of different colours that expressed different emotions from the perspective of someone suffering from different forms of mental health. I thought this was such a simple way of portraying mental health and its connotations. In terms of how this could influence our performance, the different coloured drinks could be based on the colours on the palette and they could use the names of the colours as the name of the drinks. Or we could use them to decorate the room, almost like a Dulux colour chart, but expressing mental health. I think using something as simple as colours can stimulate all sorts of emotions for the actors and audience.

This was one of my favourite exhibits at Bethlem- a mobile of tags that use labels that can all be interpreted by different people in a unique way. The one that stood out to me was Father. This is because the link between mental health and family is something that explains my experience with mental health well. Therefore seeing this made me think about mental health when it comes back to my personal experience. Being in this form, apart from being atheistically pleasing, reminded me of a tree, interlinking all of these factors together- mental health is a tree with branches extending in all directions. It was such a simplistic, minimalistic display, but they reached all sort of layers under the umbrella of mental health.

Going to somewhere like Bethlem opened up a perspective on the whole topic of mental health- it can be art. You can express this sensitive topic in an artistic form which I hope our experimental piece can too.

Tom Waites

Tom Waites is the stimulus for our piece. He is an American actor, director, singer and songwriter. His suffers from depression and bipolar, so is an interesting role model to study when doing our piece on mental health.

This is the interview we watched in class and as soon as I listened/watched him I felt entranced by his carefree demeanour and how he spoke his mind like no one I have ever witnessed. Not only did his tonal quality glue me to each word he spoke, the undeniable resemblance to Heath Ledger's joker gave his whole person a grotesque, creepy aspect. His words were like a poet; just a poet who smoked a lot of cigarettes. I fell in love with the way this man worked as soon as I heard him. He is the voice of the voices in the back of your head that have been silenced by society and etiquette. He is not there to be understood, but interpreted, a quality that belongs to few humans who have the joyous talent of speaking there mind in the most unapologetic manner.

Looking at some of his lyrics I found one I particularly liked; a song called Alice. After backspacing an explanation to the song, I realised that is the reason I liked it- it had the ability to be loved without having any plausible explanation. You can't 'fall through the ice of Alice', but you can interpret that as whatever you want.

We have talked a lot about what is art and what makes a true artist and my answer is Tom Waites- a man who does everything just because he wants to and because why the hell not?

Lesson 2

Playing games is what theatre is all about and so playing duel in the dark reminded me of the need to play in the rehearsal room. The game: two people are blindfolded and two rolled up newspapers are placed around the room. The aim- find the newspaper and hit your opponent. Watching this game unfold is very amusing because the audience are given the power of watching the game knowing the vital piece of information that the players are scrambling for. This sense of power in turn creates a sense of dramatic irony- when the audience know something before the actors. Involving this switch of power is very appropriate for experimental as it changes the goal posts completely especially in terms of the actor/audience relationship. Having fun with a piece is important to remember; true passion cannot be faked.

Today we did an exercise that investigated how a sequence of movements can be supported through breath and a specific emotional journey. The sequence consisted of 4 moments: bending your legs and slowly raising your arms as if your were about to jump on a trapeze, swinging your arms backs like you are skiing, swinging your arms back forward and then using this momentum stab yourself in the chest and then finally slowly release your hands from your chest and examining them looking at the blood until they are raised again to repeat the movement. I really enjoyed doing this exercise, mainly because it was so simple. It wasn't a piece of complicated choreography and yet it still carried a lot of emotion within 30 seconds worth of movement. Finding simplicity in movements can be so effective when portraying emotion to the audience. In this exercise I felt more emotionally rooted than I may have in a 10 minute piece of physical. As I knew what I was doing I could experiment further and find my own interpretation, supported by the foundations that had been laid for me.

One of the favourite skills I accessed today was the ability to create a sound scape with the class. We made the sound of different environments starting with a wood. The sounds that were created included birds tweeting, tress blowing in the wind, the crunch of leaves, the drip of rain and the rushing of a stream. It created such an atmosphere and accessed a sense that is often forgotten about- sound. It really touched me; this orchestra of nature created in a rehearsal room in Selhurst. It was beautiful. Then we contrasted this with the sound of the end of the world and immediately we started screaming, making the sound of bombs, evil laughs and crying babies. When the only experience of such a scenario comes from futuristic zombie movies, it is no wonder this reaction was created. The two reactions taught me a vital skill; being delicate and careful with a piece is important. A world and appearance can shatter like glass if not cared for. By listening to peoples contributions you can decide if and what is needed to add to the atmosphere. This tool is something that can add a third dimension to a piece by simply using our mouths.

This idea of listening and responding was continued in the grieving mother portrait. In a circle myself and Eve went in the middle with Eve lying on my lap as my dead child and me, her mother, mourning her passing. My starting point was crying and then slowly the circle around me created the sound scape of a mourning mother. Someone vocalised my internal screams, the laugh of a child and the most eerie, someone sang twinkle twinkle little star slowly and quietly throughout. Being in the centre of this bubble of sadness really begins to crack through your barriers and touches your emotions. I think this has shown me that creating a true reaction can come from something very simple- less is more essentially.

The last exercise we did was similar to the passing emotion exercise last lesson, but instead we passed a cry down a line. Starting with the initial holding back of tears to the final tear being wiped away. When my group performed we did it three times through and each time it intensified and then we started doing the different stages randomly creating an opera of sobs and cries. It sounded strange, but at the same time was very clear in its portrayal of emotion. I already believe that a sound scape can be very emotive, but switch up the sounds and it becomes this waterfall of emotion that washes the audience from head to toe.

Lesson 1

The exercises we did today helped us contact our emotional extremes that will help when feeding off each other and being able to work experimentally, fully committing to the piece. We did an exercise in which we passed our emotions around a circle with one rule; make your reaction to the emotion bigger than the previous person. We worked with both positive and negative emotions. Our downfall at first was our perception that bigger meant louder and over dramatic. However when working with emotions like sadness, when you reach the extreme of such an emotion, if you were truthfully reacting, you may be overcome to the extent that you collapse and do not make any sound at all. Therefore this exercise taught me that being experimental on the spectrum of emotions can still be subtle and smooth, whilst still maintaining a certain gravitas. I think this is very important so as to keep the deep connection with an experimental piece instead of relying on its shock factor to carry it.

The second exercise we did today was a imagination exercise. Lying down we were fed situations that we had to react to both physically and vocally. The first scenario we were given was being stuck in a spiders web and we couldn't move. Having my body flat on the floor helped me push this scenario throughout my body, stiffening my joints and only moving my extremities. When in a situation where physical movement is not an option, breath and voice become the main tool that you use to express your emotion. Channelling my distress through breath caused me to make short bursts of breath when I struggled to move, creating a mood of exhaustion and distress. However the atmosphere was amplified when we were told that a spider was approaching us across the web. Therefore my breath became rapid constantly instead of short bursts and my distress became vocal. This scenario was heightened by the whole class creating an atmosphere of distress; creating a chain reaction of people becoming more frightened by others fear. We then contrasted this scenario and were told that we were in a fountain of the best chocolate we had ever tasted. I found this harder due to a block created by embarrassment. If this situation was real we would all moan or scream in delight, but with others there is sounded strange and we stopped ourselves from immersing in this emotion due to this. We then imagined that we were sinking in a bog. This again caused me to tense up and not move any parts of my body apart from my head and neck which was lifted of the floor straining for air. I found the exercise as a whole very difficult because lying down restricted me from moving into interesting positions that would stimulate my imagination and the atmosphere in the room kept breaking which destroyed some of the worlds I was creating. It introduced me to the reality that I will have to let go of all pride, embarrassment and premonitions if I want to get the most out of experimental term.

The last exercise we did today was the tunnel exercise. When I went under the tunnel I was told I was in a tunnel of jagged rocks so if I made any sudden movements I would cut myself. We then had people come and scratch the chair we were under, breath on our faces and scream out for help. It was a really surreal experience that did transport me to a world in which fear and claustrophobia dominated all of my thoughts. I think facing someone intensified the whole experience because you could hear their breath and screams as well as your own and your natural reaction to comfort was beaten by your natural survival instincts. I think this exercise showed me that extreme circumstances can be the most theatrically effective and it is okay to push our audience to these kind of extremes as it generates a reaction that touches the audiences instincts and emotions on a level that is not often reached.

Mental Health and its Dramatic Potential

We were introduced to the subject matter of our piece- mental health. This is a broad label, covering many different key issues and stories that I am sure many people in the class will have a personal connection to. However I feel the best work I do, is the work I am personally invested in. Therefore I hope investigating a topic that effects me and others in a very raw, emotive way will push us to make work reflective of this.

So, what is mental health? A question, too vast to answer directly; especially on one blog post. A better question is perhaps, what is mental health to me? Still a broad question, but one I think I can scale down. I believe it is how you are feeling in your mind. In the same way you would say, today I have a cold, I think you say, today my head has a cold. I think everyone has good and bad days, whether they are diagnosed or being treated for a mental health condition or not. When you go to the hospital with a bad leg it can cover a range of problems- you may have burnt or bruised it slightly or on the other end of the scale it could be broken; which is exactly what mental health is in my opinion- a scale. I believe someone can have a day when they feel depressed without suffering from depression. How this makes sense to me is that I may feel down, but if I see something funny it will cheer me up because I still maintain the ability to view things in a positive light. That is not to say everyone suffering from depression is depressed 24/7 because that is completely not the case; they will fall on the scale. Instead of falling into cemented categories, I think people can float on a scale with the freedom to move up and down. Reading back over this attempted explanation has caused me to see how complicated it really is. Perhaps the answer to the initial question is I have no a clue.

However as far as building a piece is concerned I believe there is a lot of potential in this subject and a lot of input to be had. Although perhaps illogical and mad, I had some initial ideas when introduced to this topic and they were:

• A food fight- an expression of the madness that occurs in your head which is something not deemed appropriate in polite society. 

• A physical piece- one of the hardest parts of discussing and portraying mental health is it is not something physical that we can hold in our hand and it hence becomes harder to explain and comprehend. By taking our thoughts, feeling and emotions in our head and making them physical, the barrier between head and hands is broken. 

• Poetry or song lyrics- one song that came to my mind is Starry Starry Night by Don McLean, based upon the life and times of Vincent van Gogh- someone who was considered insane in both his art and actions. There is so many ways to tell stories, songs being one. 

Although we are only mapping our ideas currently I think it is imperative for us make our ideas come to life- because if not in experimental term, when else can you exercise free reign on your piece? Too often I will have an initial idea and then by the end of the piece it is a distant memory. This could be for one of many reasons- perhaps I don't push my voice to be heard enough or the idea was pretty bad. Whatever the reason, this term I can discover, mould, polish and use my ideas to create a piece full of colour and just a touch of madness. 

What is Art?

Immediately when I think of art, I think of a gallery full of pictures, a west end theatre or a Hollywood film. And although a lot of pieces of 'art' come underneath those 3 categories, once thought about, art can and is so much more. Art could be anything you want it to be- the lines on your palm, the doodles at the back of your English book or the rain on a window.

Art is created anywhere and everywhere if you can give it the chance and creativity to be so.

That is the only explanation I can fathom about art and the only way I can explain it is this- Vincent van Gogh's art was hated when he was alive, as was John Keats poetry and F. Scott Fitzgerald's novels, and yet today they are considered some of the best artists in their fields. And why such a change? Because someone re examined their work with a creative mind and labelled it art. Although all three will still have their critics they are, in my personal opinion, held in very high regard as far as art is concerned. This proves that art is all around us, in all forms, but they may not be regarded so in popular culture, but in a few years, decades or centuries they may be hanging on the walls of houses.

Art is something that touches you on a level that everyday occurrences do not. It talks to you creatively and transports you to a world beyond deadlines and schedules. Art that has this particular effect on me includes: Van Gogh's Cafe Terrace at Night and The Starry Night (also Don McLean's Starry Starry Night), Shakespeare's Macbeth and Othello, the Roman Amphitheatre at Guildhall, the town of Stratford Upon Avon, doodles at the back of a textbook. Tears of a Clown by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles, Hotel California by The Eagles, Tchaikovsky's Danse Napolitaine, Star Wars (all of them), 1920s fashion and the sky (night and day.) I could go on listing for hours, because I see many things as art- possibly because I think with a more creative mind than others, but everyone, no matter their way of thinking, will have an opinion. Not everyone will see Tchaikovsky's composition as art, but that's because art is to be interpreted by individuals not the masses, although masses can interpret it.

My Initial Definition of Experimental Theatre

Theatre can be weird enough, so adding an experimental aspect to the work I will be doing strikes me as possibly quite daunting. My immediate thoughts on experimental theatre consisted of a niche style of theatre far away from my comfort zone. However it occurred to me that out of my comfort zone is exactly where I need to be if I want any chance of improving as a performer. I have come to know my strengths and weaknesses as a performer and due to both instinct and pride, I have clung to my strengths as a way forward. However if I want to continue my journey learning as an actor, both in the rehearsal room and on stage, I must start to evaluate my weaknesses and tackle them head first, even if this results in me both physically and metaphorically falling flat on my face. Experimental term is the perfect opportunity to break down my boundaries and push myself to create a piece that is personally invested in and creatively fuelled.

Therefore my aspirations for this term stretch far and wide. My first goal is inspired by the topic we will be tackling- mental health. As a young person of the 21st century, mental health is something that is presenting itself more and more in my life. As a whole mental health is not set in stone and has many definitions placed on a large spectrum of interpretations and stories. On top of that I am sure mental health is a subject that effects many of my peers, meaning there will be a lot of personal input throughout the process. The combination of these factors create a vast blank canvas for us as both actors and young people to paint a complexed, colour, wonderful picture onto. Working on something so broad as mental health is something I am very excited to do. As for breaking boundaries, putting my stamp and using my voice to propel this piece forward is something I am very eager to do.

Not only am I eager to devise a piece on mental health, I am also intrigued to see how I can do it in an experimental way. I have been given an opportunity to do anything; something that could inspire bold choices or blank thoughts. Sometimes being given complete control is too much and yet I hope being given a subject to focus on, will also focus my train of thought. I can throw paint on stage or incorporate poetry and spoken work or choreograph a group macarena (within reason.) Hopefully focusing on metal health will help source ideas that I can push forward in any direction I want.

Finally, although working independently and having my own voice is important and exciting, I think working as an ensemble is just as, if not more exciting. Especially in an unscripted piece, 20+ heads are better than 1; they are far more effective, creative and expressive than just me. Therefore I think it will be essential to our piece to incorporate everyone single person's ideas and voice as I believe it will create a performance that can speak to every member of our audience member, causing them to all leave with something different to take away with them.